


No Soliciting

by Syntaxeme



Series: Mixed Mythology [2]
Category: Book of Life (2014), Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Gen, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Greek and Roman Mythology - Freeform, Mythology - Freeform, References to Aztec Religion & Lore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 23:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2670881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syntaxeme/pseuds/Syntaxeme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The best way to cheat on a bet is to get someone else to cheat for you. This is Xibalba's logic after making his most recent bet with La Muerte--regarding the future love lives of Maria, Manolo, and Joaquin. To that end, he approaches the God of Love to solicit some help...but he may find that charming immortals is very different from charming humans, and much more difficult besides.</p>
<p>*Clarification: Cupid is gender-neutral and therefore uses "zie" pronouns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Soliciting

            It seemed that even a thousand-year exile hadn’t taught Xibalba the lesson he needed about cheating. It just made him realize that he needed to be more careful about it this time. The best way to do that was to be as indirect as possible. So now that he had engaged La Muerte in this bet that hinged on mortal love affairs, he knew immediately just whose aid to seek; all he had to do was word his request carefully. If he played his cards right, he was certain Cupid would agree to help him.

            At the time, zir favorite place to be was the U.S.; zie was attracted to the parties and drinking and sexual revolution. So that was where he looked. After some time searching—and avoiding his wife’s attention whenever necessary—he found zir (where else?) in New York City. Zie may have been doing an admirable job at fitting in with the humans, better than most immortals could claim, but unlike them, Xibalba could see zir bow and quiver, not to mention the biggest giveaway: zir wings, just as grand as his, though neater and white in color. Opting for his most dashing human disguise, Xibalba approached zir on a rooftop café (quaint and romantic, just zir style).

            “Pardon me,” he said, taking the seat in front of zir. Knowing his charm would be of use here, he intended to use it in full force. “Might I join you?” Cupid looked up at him, first in confusion, then recognition; even if his form was different, just looking at him, zie could see his intense love for his wife, just below his oily surface, and it gave him away immediately.

            “I don’t see why not,” zie said. “I’m surprised to see you here at all. Didn’t La Muerte put you in time-out for being naughty?”

            “Recently released,” he said, crossing one leg over the other. “I’m catching up on everything I’ve missed; you, for instance, look very different than I remember.” The archer brushed a pink curl back over zir shoulder.

            “A thousand years is a long time. But I’m willing to bet—and I mean that figuratively—you haven’t changed much at all. So go ahead and tell me what it is you want.” Damn. He hadn’t expected zir to be so sharp. Was he losing his touch? He _was_ a bit out of practice.

            “It’s not so much that I want something, more that I want to bring something to your attention,” he answered casually. “In central Mexico, there’s a town called San Ángel. In that town is a boy by the name of Joaquin Mondragon.”

            “I know him,” zie said. “The result of a short-lived and tragically-ended romance between a doctor and a reckless patient with a hero-complex.” Zie sighed thoughtfully, reminiscing about watching the two fall in love.

            “Then you should know,” he said as Cupid sipped zir tea. “That he already has his young heart set on girl.” Zie raised an eyebrow at him, looking almost offended.

            “ _Pichoncito_ , who do you take me for? Of course I know. I know all about the very mixed up feelings going on in that little trio,” zie said. “But nothing has really been set in stone yet. What I _don’t_ know is why you would be interested in something like that. Last time I checked, mortal love affairs weren’t exactly your forte.”

            “Maybe I’ve changed more than you think,” he suggested, doing his best to present as completely innocent. It didn’t suit him well.

            “Somehow, I doubt that,” Cupid answered. Smiling sweetly up at him, zie spoke with patience that belied zir words’ almost threatening undertone, “Now, Xibalba, I’m sure even you know that deceiving Olympians never works out well for anyone, and at least _one_ of us is much too busy to waste time dancing around a request like this. Why don’t you save us both some trouble and just _say_ what it is you want?” Ugh, some gods were no fun at all. _Honesty_ , feh. But if it was the only way to make his request, what choice did he have?

            “I want the girl to marry Joaquin. Not now, obviously, but in the future,” he said plainly, having given up his smarmy approach to affect a more businesslike demeanor.

            “I figured that part. Why?” Now _this_ was the part he’d been trying to avoid.

            “Ahem. Well…I may have made a friendly wager—” Zie interrupted him with a sudden, melodic laugh, drawing the attention of several nearby mortals. Cupid covered zir mouth to try to hide zir laughter, shaking zir head already.

            “A _friendly_ wager, hm?” zie asked after finally regaining zir composure, still seeming tickled by the fact that he’d asked at all. “With whom?”

            “…my wife.” Zir giggles immediately came, stronger than ever, while Xibalba rapped his fingertips rhythmically against the table, unamused.

            “Okay,” zie said. “ _No_. Even if I were in the habit of letting other people make decisions about my work for me, there is _no way_ I’m getting involved in any bet you have with La Muerte. Sorry, sweetie; you’re on your own. I know you won’t listen, but here’s my advice: don’t cheat in the first place. You know she won’t be happy when she finds out.” Of course, zie had to say “when” and not “if.” She always seemed to find out one way or another.

            “Yes, well, thank you for that very helpful and completely original suggestion,” he said dryly, getting up from his seat, not at all happy with his “plan” dissolving into utter failure. “But I would appreciate it if you kept this conversation between the two of us.”

            “My lips are sealed. Good luck with your _wager_ ,” zie said as zie raised zir cup back up to zir lips and watched him leave in a huff. During the millennium without him, immortal life had been relatively simple (as simple as it could be for them), but zie couldn’t help thinking now he was back, things would get a lot more complicated, especially for those who worked very closely with the humans. And zie considered where zie might get a stronger drink than black tea.


End file.
